So.... my big news that I mentioned last week is that I have FINALLY been able to send in my Fast Track application to Parelli for August of 2012. When I say that I was finally able to - I really mean it. I was completely incapable of mailing it any sooner than I actually did. Paralized by fear of failure, the monetary commitment, and the prospect of having all my dreams turn out to be a disappointment I couldn't even address the envelope.
As with any good Friendly Game I needed a lot of approach and retreat. I started by printing the application, then putting it in the kitchen drawer. A few days later I filled it out then put it back in the drawer. Then I addressed my envelope and put that in a different drawer. Finally the application made it into the envelope. Yesterday I held the envelope in one hand, the stamp in the other, and then...put the stamp on the envelope. Naturally I had to call my mother, this was a huge moment, monumental actually - I had stamped my envelope! By the time it made it to the post office I was teary and shaking. I was really doing it! I was finally being the person I've wanted to be. A risk taker. A dreamer that's not just dreaming! I was taking initiative, taking charge of my life, and reaching out to take that first step toward the future I've always envisioned for myself. This stamped envelope was holding the key to the rest of my life - my career, my personal development, and most importantly my savvy with horses.
I have put Parelli Natural Horsemanship up on a pedestal ever since I realized what it could do for my relationship with my horse and how it caused me to evolve and grow in other aspects of my life separate from horses. I approach the world differently since aquainting myself with the idea that problems are really just puzzles for us to solve and moments of frustration and confusion are opportunities for us to fix things in ourselves and be fascinated in finding fair and honest solutions.
My biggest fear has been that I'd get to Pagosa and either not be good enough for the professionals program or that I'd be let down in the same fashion I was with the natural horsemanship program at the college I attended. After much time, energy, and thought I realized that I'd never know if I didn't try. I'd always have the same question if I never sought out the answer. Pat's saying rings true when he says that "if you always do what you've always done, then you'll continue to get what you've always got". If I didn't stay positive and progressive then I'd never get anywhere. I realize that believeing in myself, valuing who I am and what I can offer the horse community, and honoring my commitment to myself in living every day to the fullest does not include leaving a filled out, addressed, and stamped application to my future in the kitchen drawer!!
So, I can't be more proud of myself nor more excited to share with you that I am on my way to becoming a Parelli Professional and to a fuller, richer, happier life.
I'll be keeping my blog at Parelli Connect updated on my progress with Aspen and what we're studying in preparation for this course.
Here a couple of some of my favorite photos :)